This snippet is from one of our previous episodes: How to Release Your Money Fears.

Think back to your very first interaction with money.

Not your first job or first bank account, but the first time money was physically in your hands.

For most of us, it probably went something like this: you were a toddler, you found a coin, and you put it straight in your mouth. An adult pulled it out and told you: “Don’t do that. Money is dirty.”

Obviously, they were talking about germs. But it’s a fascinating example of how early the language around money begins.

You almost certainly don’t remember it. But according to entrepreneur and author Denise Duffield-Thomas, that was lesson one… and the lessons didn’t stop there.

The people who start well and then stop

Ben and Bryce have seen it more times than they can count.

Clients and listeners begin brilliantly. They build the knowledge, understand how passive income works, and start taking action. Then at some point they derail.

To anyone watching from outside, it looks inexplicable. What just happened there?

Most people have an explanation ready. It’s the market. I’m too busy. The timing isn’t right.

Denise’s view is that if you examined what was really going on, you might find them bumping up against their own invisible ceiling. Beliefs about money they’ve never articulated and, in some cases, never even noticed.

Start with an inventory

Before she does anything else with a client, Denise runs an inventory. No action, no strategy — just a question: What are your earliest memories around money? Then: how did you grow up? Working class, middle class, wealthy?

And here’s what she consistently finds: people from every level of society have picked up negative lessons around money. This isn’t a scarcity problem or a poverty problem. It can happen to anyone.

Think about the household you grew up in:

  • Was money scarce?
  • Was it something people argued about?
  • Was being wealthy admired or criticised?
  • Did your parents work incredibly long hours?
  • Was spending treated as irresponsible?
  • Was debt terrifying?
  • Was talking about money considered rude?

Every family develops its own unofficial philosophy around money. Chances are you absorbed yours before you were even old enough to properly evaluate it.

The money motto Denise held on to

Denise’s own family motto sounds harmless. Charming, even.

“It’s nice to be important, but it’s important to be nice.”

Then she started a business and found she struggled to ask people for money. Because somewhere underneath it all was the idea that asking for money wasn’t “nice”.

She wasn’t consciously thinking this.

The belief simply sat underneath… doing its work. And that’s what makes these beliefs so powerful. A belief you can see is a belief you can question. But one you don’t even know is there?

The most common money belief of all

Of all the beliefs Denise has encountered, one shows up more than most: You have to work really hard to make money.

Now think about how that interacts with something like investing.

You find an opportunity. The numbers stack up. You get excited, and then you notice it feels easy. Too easy.

Now put that next to a childhood where your parents genuinely did work hard for every dollar. Maybe they worked with their hands. Maybe they were white-collar professionals putting in enormous hours.

You watched that. You learned what money was supposed to cost. So when something comes along that could make you money without that same level of effort, it may not immediately feel like opportunity.

It can feel wrong.

And according to Denise, that discomfort can lead people to unconsciously sabotage themselves… because somewhere underneath it all their brain has decided money only really counts if it was difficult to earn.

You don’t have to be reckless

Recognising a limiting belief doesn’t mean ignoring risk or blindly charging ahead.

There are very good reasons to be cautious with money. Property investing, for example, involves debt, uncertainty and real financial consequences.

The point isn’t to replace sensible caution with reckless optimism, but to be able to separate the two: Am I saying no because this genuinely doesn’t stack up… or am I saying no because this outcome feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable to me?

So what story are you carrying?

Before worrying about changing anything, start by noticing.

What did people say about money in your house growing up? What did wealthy people represent to your family? Did money mean security? Stress? Hard work? Greed? Opportunity?

And is any of that still making decisions for you today?

If this resonates and you’d like help turning that awareness into a clearer property and wealth strategy, you can speak with one of our qualified advisers. They can help you look objectively at where you are now, where you want to go and whether you’re on track to getting there.

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